Molly & Chiari

Lots-o-Links 10.2.08

Molly Update: Molly has been really worn out, feeling sick to her stomach, and has been in bed most of the time after returning from surgery.  Because of that she has been very frustrated and wants to feel better.  I'm just trying to remind her to take it slow and realize this is a long term healing thing.

Mark Devine has mentioned me in his new book. The chapter is found here

Jonathan Dodson: Why Evangelism Methods Must Change, Tools for the Missional Church, & Church Planting Manuals Reviewed.

Ahh, the growing Covenant Theological Seminary Worldwide Classroom.  What a great resource.

Justin Taylor: From John Piper's new book, Spectacular Sins, What To Do, and What Not To Do, With Evil.

Mark Driscoll is releasing the book Porn-Again Christian online for free.  It will be released progressively over the next several months. 

Josh Harris' Preaching Notes series: Mark Driscoll.

Ahh, the baseball playoffs are here.  Love it.  Love baseball.  Inspiration...

Operation Restoring Hope

Blogging Molly's Chiari I Malformation brain surgery. Most recent updates top of each section.

Section one: Updates on Molly, surgery, hospital stay, & recovery. 
Section two: Updates on me, my experiences, reflections, & photos.

Essential Links

  • Twitter -- Immediate brief updates. Links to camera phone photos.
  • Centro Photos -- See what we see through camera phone photos.
  • Artistic Photographs -- Best quality photos, but updated only occasionally.

Molly Chiari Header 2 blur 2

Tuesday

2:35pm <> A couple of brief updates.  First, we must add because I don't think I've said it so far that the Hilton Our towels at home are exfoliating scrubs compared to them.  We almost took one to give to a pregnant mom as her baby's snuggle blanket.

Oh, how's Molly?  Good question.  Molly is exactly where her doc said she should be.  She is coming down off of the steriods and looking and feeling exhausted.  She's in bed a lot, resting, healing.  Me?  I'm doing dishes, cleaning, buying & making food, and searching for a little time to be a pastor. :)  God is taking care of my wife and the rest of us.  We are very blessed.

Sunday

8:21pm <> Molly is fast asleep, the kids are still up messing around.  I'm still keeping them home tomorrow.  There's just too much to be done and everything is too hectic to get them there in the morning.  We all need a break.

I picked up Molly's meds, including a steroid (strong anti-inflammatory).  It's the steroid that is probably to blame for Molly's pep.  It really helps.  Plus, it will really help her to beat Lance in next summer's Tour de France.  She beat me at arm wrestling earlier. 

Just so glad to be home with our kids, and even with our cat.  I'm strangely more affectionate toward Calvin post-surgery.

We are getting the feeling that Molly will have to wait a couple of weeks before really knowing how she will do with relief of chiari symptoms.  She has started having the "jolts" a little today, but nothing major.  But the doctor said even prior to today that she may regain some symptoms after the steroids taper off.  She will likely have some confusing days ahead for a couple of weeks because of the inflammation the foreign substance will cause.  At least that's how we understood the doc. 

So if we start talking about some symptoms, I guess the call is to not panic until a bit of time passes.  The jolt is the only thing we've seen so far, and it was there after the last surgery when all other symptoms were gone.  So no worries yet.

Now, as for things we forgot.  I failed to mention that when Dr. Frim put in the stent (tube) he attached it to the brain via what he called a "micro-stitch."  He said he's one of the few doctors who do that.  So let the stitch/sewing nicknames begin!  I like "Steve'o and Stitch." :) 

Molly also saw and talked to several nurses from last year.  Pretty cool.  We even talked to the one who so famously ran Molly into a private room when we needed one so much.  It's neat to see people who we remember and who remember us, but we told them we hope to NEVER see them again. 

I just want to add that au bon pain has a killer onion dill bagel.  Delicious. As we remember other stuff I'll add them here.

6:48pm <> We are home and I'm about to head out and get Molly's stuff from the Pharmacy.  Quick trip home and the kids are great (all but the part about going back to school a day early!).  I caught Molly organizing clothes in the boys' room!  Shameful.  I made her rest instead.  What a woman.  Too bad for you that there is only one of her...and she's mine!

Thanks everyone for praying.  We were talking on the way home about a note on the little things I missed mentioning along the way.  I'll try to get to that tonight or tomorrow.  I also want to update you on Molly's symptoms and what the next few days hold for her.  And then tomorrow my Music Monday post will be going up and the blog will go somewhat back to normal. 

Thanks to all my readers.  You have made the last couple of days more full for us through your prayers, comments, and encouragement.  And together we have seen God build a network of pray-ers around the world, who He has responded to with His favor. 

2:31pm <> Molly is in the process of finishing up here, then changing into her clothes, then I'll be bringing the van around and picking her up.  Could be home at 5-5:30pm-ish, depending on how fast the nurse gets stuff moving, Sunday traffic, and how long it takes to get the kids.  Can't wait to get home.

12:54pm <> GUESS WHO'S GOING HOME!!!  WOOHOO!!!  Dr. Frim and Dr. Ricky Wong just stopped in and they are sending Molly home.  Who's pumped?  We are, that's who!  Now I'm headed to the International House to see if I can get my money back for tonight.  Or maybe I'll postpone it and we can stay the night for our post-op appointment in a week and a half.  Or maybe they won't refund me and I'll just go home.  Whatever.  We are just so excited to be going home.  Should be a couple of hours or so before the orders go through. If possible I'll update right before we go. 

11:28am <> Molly finished a walk up and down the hallway, first with the nurse, then with me, then without holding on to anything.  Outstanding! Seriously, she's doing EXTREMELY well.  These signs are awesome.  And she hasn't had a single "jolt" (a chiari symptom that she had).  Really great news so far.

11:20am <> Just a bit ago Dr. Dey and Dr. Yassari came in to see Molly.  Dr. Dey doesn't read my blog, so I have lost all respect for her. :)  Ah, just kidding Dr. Dey!  You've been a real encouragement to us and have always provided info we've needed at the right time.

Dr. Yassari then talked briefly with Molly and was very impressed with her recovery.  He said her neck range-of-motion is outstanding for this soon after surgery.  I think his words were "better than good" movement.  Awesome.  Then Dr. Yassari said that she may go home TODAY!  Yes, you heard that right.  Maybe home 48 hours post-brain surgery!  We never even thought that was possible, but honestly Molly is way better now than at any point in the hospital from last year.  She's better now than after leaving on Monday and spending two days at home.  That's hard for us to believe, but it's true.  Thanks for praying!  Woohoo!

Now, it still may end up being tomorrow.  And if so that's just fine.  I've already paid for another night for me at the International House, so we're good.  I doubt I can get that prepaid $70 back. :(  Bottom line: we want everyone to be confident in doing what's best.  But we would obviously love to be home and be with our kids.

Saturday

2.10pm <> Mo lly is looking at a menu.  Good signs of another step in recovery. She has also said she feels much better after this surgery than the previous one.

12:12pm <> Molly is sleeping a ton.  Very happy about that.  Gonna get out, get some lunch, take some photos, check on housing for tonight, and who knows what else!

10:55am <> Dr. Frim and neurosurgery resident Dr. Yassari (I think he's in his 6th of 7 years of residency) just stopped by ICU.  Dr. Frim encouraged Molly to watch college football, which makes me think he said that for my sake.  Thanks Dr. Frim!  He said Molly will stay in ICU until tomorrow, which is longer than expected.  But it seems clear the reasoning is that very few surgeries are done on the weekend, so they probably won't need the room, and it's much more quiet and comfortable in ICU.  After a long night in the noisy Recovery unit, this is a nice way for Molly to get a lot of rest.

Dr. Yassari was talking about how he remembered Molly from last time and how he read my blog about the surgery.  I didn't know he even knew this existed, so that's pretty cool.  I just googled "Dr. Yassari" and my blog is the 3rd hit!  Awesome.  Honestly, we've really liked all the doctors Molly has seen at the University of Chicago: Frim, Yassari, Yamini (haven't seen him this time, yet), and some of the younger residents like Dr. Dey and a few others I whose names escape me.    

10:31am <> I love it! Molly won't shut up.  Geez girl, get some rest!  Love to see her awake and acting normal-ish.

She is still experiencing some numbness in her hands and feet.  It can take some time for symptoms to see much relief, especially since there will be significant swelling from the surgery.  But we'd love to say we haven't seen any old symptoms.  Pray that they will be banished!

9:45am <> Molly is in ICU now.  Going to see her.

9:15am <> I tried to give Molly as much chance to rest last night as possible while still being around regularly.  She still has the typical post-surgery exhaustion, but has some increasing pep.  I really think she is doing well compared to last time around.  I just talked to her on the phone an hour ago and she was sitting in a chair.  Very cool.

That said, she is STILL in Recovery.  Much of last night she was the only patient in Recovery.  Through the grapevine I heard that it wasn't because all the ICU beds were taken, but because there weren't enough ICU nurses to go around.  Well, there were enough to go around for every patient but one...Molly.  Which means Molly is tougher than all the sissies who need 24 hours of ICU.  They can have their TLC and Molly will just sit up in a chair 18 hours after surgery and act like nothing happened.  When the nurses ask Molly how much pain she's in, Molly says, "My feet are sore from jogging through the hallways?"  When the nurses ask if Molly needs more pain meds, Molly replies, "I've saved all the pills you gave me and built a full size replica of Wrigley Field with my eyes closed."  When the nurse asks Molly is she needs to lay down, Molly insists, "The brain surgery itself was so restful that I can't possibly sleep again already."  Yeah, you heard me.  Molly is tough. :)

I'll let you know when something changes.  Should be any time now.

Friday

5:24pm <> No news.  Molly is still listed at "Post-Op" and waiting for an ICU bed.  Haven't seen her since 4pm.

4:02pm <> I just left Recovery (post-op) where Molly was very groggy. She must have hounded the nurse until they let me in!  When I found out earlier that I probably wouldn't see her for a while, I decided to grab some food.  I got in only only three bites when I got paged back and sent to Recovery.  So lunch/dinner had to wait.

Molly is in a lot of pain, more than last time I think.  She has thrown up a couple of times, which was a big issue last time.  I think they've figured it out, though, through a different nausea medication.  Despite all this Molly is still full of life.  For example, the dude in the bed next to her had a post-surgery urge to take a dump.  Oh my, I've located the bog of eternal stench in the colon of U of Chicago surgical patient.  After the loud grunts and the first hints of fog Molly looked at me wide eyed and said, "Run!"  Even after brain surgery Molly is looking out for me.

Pray that an ICU bed would open up soon.

2:18pm <> Word is that Molly may be in recovery (post-op) for some time, just like last year.  There is even the possibility of staying the night there.  Reason?  ICU is completely full for the moment.  I'm not sure when I'll get to see her.

2:00pm <> Just got off the family waiting room phone with Dr. Frim.  Molly is waking up and all went well.  He said there was some scar tissue around the patch he put on last surgery as well as scar tissue that fused together the cerebellar tonsils of her brain.  He pulled apart the tonsils and cauterized them a bit so they wouldn't fuse together and close up the space again.  He also put in the stent, as mentioned before, in the 4th ventricle to aid spinal fluid flow.  Then he tried to make sure the space he created in the last surgery remain as open as possible as he closed things up.

We learned this morning that when brain surgery is done scar tissue is a very common problem.  The brain doesn't get exposed to air so when surgery happens a person's brain will start to scar as a defense.  Different people react with different levels of scarring.  Molly obviously had enough scarring to create new problems, and we hope this will be a significant remedy.  We also learned this morning that scarring can happen around a stent and cause it t o get clogged at some point.  We hope that would be a long time from now.

As best I can tell the signs are good for this surgery to have a very good effect.  The incision is going to be slightly longer, as Dr. Frim needed a little more space to explore a bit and make sure there wasn't something else he could do to help.  Thank you so much for praying!  We are very thankful for all of you.

12:57pm <> Wow!  I was just told by the receptionist in the family waiting room that the surgery nurse called and said the surgery is nearly over!  How do you finish a surgery that much faster than expected?  Maybe Dr. Frim just knew something that the other pre-op folks didn't know.  More as soon as I know more.

12:50pm <> Sorry for a later-than-expected first update.  Twitter has been a perfect place for most of my updates, so make sure you follow there.  There are lots of pics there already.

We stayed last night at the Chicago Hilton, 18th floor.  Beautiful place with a view of Lake Michigan, Navy Pier, Soldier Field, and the museums (Field, Science & Industry, Adler Planetarium).  I'll see if I had any photos turn out later on.  We watched a movie and tried to relax.  Difficult to do. 

We both woke up too early this morning, a bit restless.  Showers, some news on TV, no food or drink of course.  Checked out and paid cash thanks to some very faithful and loving church members.  Drove out and made it to the hospital in 15 minutes.  So easy and convenient!  Very thankful we stayed downtown. 

Showed up at the University of Chicago Hospital on time, to the family waiting room.  A little paperwork and then to pre-op.  Molly got into her gown, more paperwork, 3 tries at an IV thanks to Molly's veins, still more paperwork, a hit of something to relax Molly, a kiss and she was wheeled off.  If you haven't seen Molly choosing the stent for herself, it's funny.  It was all her idea too.

The surgery didn't officially start until 11:49am, a lot later than expected.  I heard the surgeon was unwilling to start until he beat his fastest time at Minesweeper.  Tall order.  Now, just waiting.  Should be about 3 hours, so 3pm or so.  I'm supposed to hear something at about 2 hours.

Steve Header 2

Sunday

2:25pm <> I paid for 2 nights in advance at the International House (not "Of Pancakes," but the place I slept last night).  I went and got the stuff out of my room and asked if they could give me money back for tonight.  I wasn't all that optimistic. Barbara, the nice lady behind the desk there, was so excited that my brain surgery wife is going home early that she didn't even make me pay the $30 for late check out.  Very cool. We'll get a check in the mail for reimbursement in a couple of weeks.

11:54am <> As I've been praying today for my church I've been thinking about how thankful I am for the folks I pastor.  They have been praying, supporting us, and doing what needs to be done while we are out of pocket.  I'm very thankful this morning for Jeff Temple who is preaching.  He's a good teacher and a good friend.  His family is also keeping our kids.  Jeff's wife Saralyn has been so sacrificial as she has had 7 kids (her 3 and our 4) to care for.  What a great family.  I'm also very thankful for good friends from Joe Thorn's church, Rob and Shannon, who are leading worship as our worship guy is away.  Thanks to all.

Saturday

12:06pm <> Put some new photos up on Flickr.

11:22am <> Just added some blue text highlights so you can more easily follow what's happening at a glance.

11:11am <> I forgot to mention something that happened at the Chicago Hilton on the morning of Molly's surgery.  It's not important, but it's funny and indelible. Our room had a beautiful view including a view across the courtyard of more of the Hilton building.  On Friday morning a lady in a room across the courtyard, curtains wide open, decided to parade around in her room in full view with nothing on.  Trust me when I say that I wish, I SOOOO wish, she was fully clothed or that the curtain was pulled.  Not good.  But it made for a moment of humor for Molly and me on a very stressful morning. Strangely, the event is worth recording for all to read. :) 

9:45am <> I know some of you will kick me in the teeth for this, but yeah, I slept in the van last night.  Well, not much.  I took 3-4 short naps during the night and it was very helpful.  I'm not that tired and I think can get through the day.  I'm hoping to get a room at the International House on campus tonight and tomorrow night, but they are supposed to be very busy as there are many events going on.  Pray I can get a room! 

Friday

5:30pm <> For some reason I can't get Twitterfox to work right now.  It's been useful only occasionally.  Mostly using the phone to post to Twitter, and my phone is charging at the moment.  But there isn't all that much to Twitter right now anyway.

5:24pm <> Ate a Greek pasta salad for lunch/dinner.  Really good with rotini, tomatoes, black olives, feta cheese.

Otherwise I'm beat.  Mental, physical, emotional exhaustion.  But the chocolate dipped shortbread cookie helped. :)

2:18pm <> Feeling relief after hearing that Molly is out of surgery. Hungry and looking for food after this update goes up. 

12:50pm <> After Molly went into surgery I returned to the family waiting room with Molly's stuff.  The receptionist said my brother came to see me.  Wasn't expecting that.  For those who remember last year, I have no desire to sit with someone during the surgery.  I like to be alone, praying, blogging, etc.  But, if he's here he's here.

Since he wasn't in the waiting room I had to look for him.  I needed to eat anyway so I headed for au bon pain.  He was sitting just outside.  He said that Dad warned him NOT to come and sit with me, but he chose to risk it since it was only for a few minutes.  Come to find out Scott was already in Chicago for the Illinois Municipal League convention...which is held at the Hilton!  How awesome is that?  He was staying 10 floors below us last night and none of us knew it.  I also found out Scott was probably eating and we walked right by him.  Pretty cool.

He and his wife will also be at the Hilton tonight and said I could crash there if need be.  Also pretty cool.  Good of Scott to stop by.  Nice to see a familiar face just as I was pulled away from my wife.  Thankful for my brother.

Prepping for Molly's Surgery

Hey all.  I think we are finally starting to relax.  If you don't know already, Molly's second Chiari I Malformation surgery is coming up Friday at 10am.  Right now we are spending a lot of time talking and processing what we are thinking and what's coming, and getting all the pre-surgery preparations for us and the kids finished up. 

I'm also still working on an upcoming sermon series, getting stuff finished up for this week's service (which I obviously won't be attending), and doing various other administrative and planning things. 

Here's the next few days...

Tonight: Getting gelato with Molly and the kiddos and relaxing.
Thursday: Kids have 1/2 day of school, home at about noon.  Spending a few hours with them: eating lunch, watching old family videos, having fun.  Dropping them off late afternoon-ish at friends' house in Crystal Lake, IL.  They will be keeping the kids until we return from the hospital.  After dropping off the kids we will be driving to Schaumburg, IL to eat at PF Changs.  Two church members gave us a gift card.  Woohoo!  Then we drive to the Chicago Hilton, which is quite expensive but only 15 minutes from the hospital.  It will help us a lot to have a great night sleep and not worry about traffic.
Friday: We get up early and make sure we don't get to the hospital late.  Need to be there at 9am for pre-op.  Molly has surgery at 10am, should be out of surgery in early afternoon.  Then to ICU for 24 hours or so.
Saturday: Sometime in the afternoon (24 hours after surgery) Molly will move to a regular room in neurosurgery recovery area. 
Sunday: A long recovery day.
Monday: Hopfully Molly's last day at the hospital.  Last year we were home by 3:30pm or so.  If all goes well, that's probably a best case scenario.  It may run into Tuesday.

Like last year I will be blogging the whole thing in one long post with the most current updates at the top.  I will probably put up that post tomorrow.  Last year it was titled "Operation Chiari Freedom."  I'm not sure what I will call this one.  Maybe "Operation Flex-i-Straw Insertion" or "Operation 'I Drink Your Milkshake'" or "Operation Chiari Smackdown." :)  I will also be Twittering feverishly. That's where I will have the most photos, give brief and immediate updates, etc. I may even send myself on "assignments."  What does that mean?  Stay tuned!

Thanks for praying.  Gonna be a long and painful weekend, but we have every confidence in the goodness and mercy of God.

Molly's Surgery is Scheduled

DSC_00042007-07-13Molly has confirmation of the date and time of her second Chiari I Malformation surgery: Friday, September 26th at 10am.  Yeah, that's a week from today.  We knew that date was possible earlier this week, but the nurse just made it official today.  So here we go with some details.

1. The surgery is the same but different.  It's the same incision, the same recovery time, the same post-surgery rules, the same doctor (Dr. David Frim), and the same hospital (University of Chicago).  The different part is what the doctor does once he's opened up the back of Molly's head.  Last time he created space for spinal fluid to flow.  This time he is going to add a stent, technically (I think this is right) a "fourth ventriculostomy stent."  It's putting a tube at the base of the brain in order to keep the pathway for fluid flow open.  It's a brain straw.  We've asked for the flexy one, but who knows.  So in comparison...the first surgery is making space at the back of the head and second surgery is making a pathway at the base of the brain.  Got it?  Good.

2. I will be live blogging/Twittering this thing.  Reformissionary/Twitter will have all the info you need to keep up, pray, panic, laugh, cry, throw up, or celebrate.  I'm there for you!  Last time all was focused on the blog and there were few pictures.  Pictures will be up all the time through Twitter this time. 

3. The kiddos are staying with church members in Crystal Lake, IL (20 minutes from here).  They are homeschoolers and really great friends.  Their kids are right in the range of ours, so it's perfect.  Our kids will miss school Friday and Monday, but I'm sure they will be heavily involved in homeschooling stuff.  They'll love it.

4. We are nervous.  Molly has been really emotional about all of this lately.  But it's not that we think something bad will happen.  God is good and we trust him fully with all that's to come, even if it's not what we hope for and expect.  We just know what's ahead for the next couple of weeks and none of it is all that fun...it wasn't last time.  We ask for you to pray, especially on the morning of surgery day.  We want this surgery to work and last a long time!  You have all helped us through to this point, and we appreciate you very much. 

Molly & Chiari Update 9.4.08

DSC_00362007-06-28Looks like Molly is in for another round of brain surgery. 

After a 2 3/4 hour rainy drive into Chicago Molly met with her neurosurgeon and found out that the MRI's showed no new problems and that the space the doctor created in the last surgery is still there.  So why is there a problem?  Through a different set of MRI's, the doctor noticed that very little spinal fluid flowing at the base of the brain near the brain stem (from the side view).  He believes that's because there is some scar tissue blocking the way and that she probably needs a stent (or stint), a tube inserted there to allow fluid to flow as needed.  It's what we have been assuming would happen since the symptoms restarted.

The doctor tried a spinal tap to measure the pressure since that could be causing spinal fluid flow issues as well.  Danny (5) was with her the whole time, even looking at the needle sticking out of her spine.  Awesome.  When the doctor found the fluid pressure to be normal he decided to lower the pressure a bit just to see if it might help.  So far, nothing.  Actually Molly is very uncomfortable right now.  If that stays the same Molly will likely be scheduled for surgery again soon.  We are emailing Dr. Frim's nurse on Monday with how Molly is doing and may know more then about a surgery date.

Maybe between now and Monday something will change, but we feel 98% sure surgery is coming soon.  How soon?  Dunno. I'll let you know.  Thank you so, so much for praying.  We appreciate it more than we can express.  For photos and a fairly complete "tick tock" of the day go to my Twitter page.

Molly's Big Brain and Giving Thanks by Faith

DSC_00112007-08-07As some of you know we are headed to see Dr. Frim, Molly's neurosurgeon, at 10am tomorrow.  They will have reviewed all her MRI stuff, spinal fluid flow info, etc and have a view of where to go from here.  If this is news to you, catch up on Molly and Chiari.  FYI, she's had mostly very bad days lately, but today was slightly better as she was able to walk and stand without constant help.  

If you think of her, pray for Molly's appointment tomorrow.  You may also want to pray that we get there on time, as that seems to be a problem lately.  Chicago traffic is unreal sometimes (most times).  We are driving out at 7am.  If you want to keep up with our trip and get the scoop first, follow my Twitter updates on the right sidebar of the blog, or here.

Molly and I were at the Desiring God conference last year called Stand: A Call for the Endurance of the Saints.  That was just a few months after her brain surgery and elimination of her symptoms.  Now that her symptoms are back there is much good to remember from the conference.  Honestly, I hadn't thought of the conference in a while.  Then today a friend at Crossway pointed me to Jerry Bridges' message found as chapter 1 in the Stand book.  It was good for us to revisit it.  Here's an excerpt...

...Lamentations 3:38 says to us, “Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that good and bad come?” That is, God is in sovereign control over the difficulties and the pain just as much as he is in control over what we would consider to be the good things, the blessings of this life. Now we should thank God for the good things of life. We are to be thankful people. But what about the bad things, the things that we would not choose to have in our lives? Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 to “give thanks in all circumstances,” and then he adds, “for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” That is to say, it is the moral will of God that we give thanks in all circumstances....

How do we do this? We do it by faith. We don’t just grit our teeth and say, “Lord, I don’t feel thankful, but you said to give thanks, so I’m going to give you thanks even though I don’t feel thankful.” That’s not giving thanks. We do it by faith. We do it by trusting in the promises of God. We do it by faith in the words of God through Paul in Romans 8:28–29, where he says “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love him.” And then he defines the good in verse 29 as being conformed to the likeness of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is what God is after. He wants to conform us to the likeness of Christ; so he brings or allows these various circumstances, circumstances that we ourselves would not choose. He brings them into our lives because he wants to use those circumstances in his way to conform us more and more to the likeness of Christ. And so by faith we can say, “Lord, I do not know what particular purpose you have in this difficulty or this pain, this trial. But you said that you will use it to conform me more and more to Jesus Christ, and for that I give you thanks.” So we give thanks by faith.

Stand: A Call for the Endurance of the Saints, chapter 1 "Four Essentials for Finishing Well" by Jerry Bridges, page 34. 

Please Pray for Molly

DSC_00362007-06-28As most of you know my wife Molly had brain surgery last summer for Chiari I Malformation, and as I said a few weeks back her symptoms have returned...all but the most serious and difficult.  Well, now ALL her symptoms are back now with the addition of a few others I've mentioned before (jolts & headaches).

Molly has taken quite a turn with increasingly worse symptoms in the last 6 days.  She tried to get on the treadmill and walk today, just take a decently paced walk.  She couldn't.  Her legs and balance just won't work.  She is starting to have difficulty with simple mental tasks and decision making.  The occasional numbness in her hands is growing to regular numbness higher up her arms.  Her jolting is sometimes happening 3-4 times a minute compared to 5-6 times a day just a couple of months ago.  She has needed some assistance walking from time to time.  During the Lord's Supper on Sunday she nearly dropped the cup (the holy shot glass) because her fine motor skills are so degraded.

Because of all this her spirit is crushed.  She's already had one surgery that didn't last a year.  We have no idea if another surgery will help at all, or how long it would help.  While Molly is trusting God in all of this, she is struggling mentally and emotionally to believe that things can get better.  I honestly believe that when we see her surgeon next month we will see the potential for good things.  It's hard for Molly to see that.  And while I am working hard to stay positive, watching her struggle with the simplest of tasks and grow very frustrated is very hard on me.  I want to do something to help her get better, and so far there is nothing to do. My heart is breaking for her.

So, less than a month until an appointment with her surgeon.  We are going to try to get some MRI's done before that if we can find a place that has the right equipment. 

Please pray for Molly if you think of her.

Lots-o-Links & Molly Update 7.29.08

Quick update on Molly & Chiari.  Her MRI's haven't happened yet as our local hospitals don't have the equipment to do the specialized ones she needs.  So we either have to go closer to the city or wait until her appointment with her surgeon in September.  Dunno what's going to happen just yet.  I'll let you know.

Some days are better than others right now.  The last few have been pretty bad, though the worst of symptoms from last year haven't shown up yet.  Glad about that.  Thanks for praying for her. 

Here's David Ford's "Song for the Road," which I put up here as a tribute to my wife who is in constant pain, hourly frustrations.  Should she ever wonder if I will be there when she needs me...

Now I know someday this all will be over
And it's hard to say what most will I miss
Just give me one way to spend my last moments alive,
and I choose this, I choose this, I choose this.

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Joe Thorn is rebooting his prayer life.  I'm actually planning some extended prayer in the near future.  Good thoughts from Joe.

Al Hsu points to more Andy Crouch Culture Making stuff.  Excerpts and more.

New Wendell Berry short story in The Atlantic.

David Powlison on Breaking Pornography Addiction.

Jonathan Dodson: Dark Thoughts from The Dark Knight

Ben Arment: How to Attract High-Caliber Leaders to Your Church

William Willimon: Pastoral Wisdom

Thomas Friedman's The World is Flat audiobook FOR FREE!  Get it now, only a few days left.

Kay Ryan is the new U.S. Poet Laureate.

JD Greear: Writing Stuff Down

Paul Tripp has a potty mouth, and he's right on the money...

Lots-o-Links & Molly Update 7.29.08

Quick update on Molly & Chiari.  Her MRI's haven't happened yet as our local hospitals don't have the equipment to do the specialized ones she needs.  So we either have to go closer to the city or wait until her appointment with her surgeon in September.  Dunno what's going to happen just yet.  I'll let you know.

Some days are better than others right now.  The last few have been pretty bad, though the worst of symptoms from last year haven't shown up yet.  Glad about that.  Thanks for praying for her. 

Here's David Ford's "Song for the Road," which I put up here as a tribute to my wife who is in constant pain, hourly frustrations.  Should she ever wonder if I will be there when she needs me...

Now I know someday this all will be over
And it's hard to say what most will I miss
Just give me one way to spend my last moments alive,
and I choose this, I choose this, I choose this.

Recently on sub•text...
Neighborhood Diversity | Smaller Cities and Towns
Male, Middle Class, and White | Suburbs vs. Christianity

Other links...

Joe Thorn is rebooting his prayer life.  I'm actually planning some extended prayer in the near future.  Good thoughts from Joe.

Al Hsu points to more Andy Crouch Culture Making stuff.  Excerpts and more.

New Wendell Berry short story in The Atlantic.

David Powlison on Breaking Pornography Addiction.

Jonathan Dodson: Dark Thoughts from The Dark Knight

Ben Arment: How to Attract High-Caliber Leaders to Your Church

William Willimon: Pastoral Wisdom

Thomas Friedman's The World is Flat audiobook FOR FREE!  Get it now, only a few days left.

Kay Ryan is the new U.S. Poet Laureate.

JD Greear: Writing Stuff Down

Paul Tripp has a potty mouth, and he's right on the money...

Family Updates

DSC_00012008-04-23Two quick family updates.

Molly & Chiari: Molly has received a prescription to get some MRI's done and now has an appointment on Thursday of this week.  These will be sent to her surgeon to see if they note any significant changes or problems.  They are also going to check her CSF (cerebrospinal fluid) flow to see if/how much it's blocked, I believe through another MRI.  If there's anything I know about Molly and her Chiari issues it's that laying still in one position for long at all is very painful and frustrating for her.  Getting the MRI's will be an ordeal.

Her symptoms have been pretty bad.  Every day is painful and she often feels nauseous (a symptom she never felt before with Chiari).  The one thing we are happy about is that she isn't struggling much with balance issues.  A few bad stretches, but not like last year.  Thanks for your prayers.  I'll update when something happens.

Elijah the All-Star: We finally got the schedule for Elijah's all-star games, not that you care.  But we were very surprised to find out the first game is this Sunday morning at 9:30am.  We knew he could have a Sunday game, but we never assumed it would be in the morning.  We felt compelled to have him play since they only have a 12 player roster and at try-outs they said you have to be able to play all games (that was before the schedule came out).  But we also felt compelled to show our son and those on the team that we have priorities that trump baseball.

So I pulled Elijah in to my office and showed him the schedule.  He looked at me puzzled by the Sunday morning game.  I asked him what he thought he should do.  He said, "Go to church."  No fight, no tears, no depression, no struggle, no whining.  He has his priorities in order.  I'm very, very proud of my little boy, and this Sunday we will be missing an all-star game in order to worship the one who made the stars.  Geez, that was cheesy.

Here We Go Again

DSC_00112007-08-07I was hoping this post would never come.  It has.

My wife, Molly, has started to see symptoms from her Chiari I Malformation again.  It's pretty close to as bad as her pre-surgery days.  Her surgery was July 13th, 2007.  She is having great tension in her neck and shoulders.  Her hands and feet become numb if she sits for long at all, like a 5 minute car ride.  She is having some balance issues and minor issues with thinking and completing thoughts.  She feels all day long like she has chugged a bunch of coffee and is jittery and tense.  I watched her on both Sunday and Monday barely able to hold a bottle of contact solution as she tried to get contacts in her eyes.  Her last remaining symptom from last year, a kind of body jolt, has multiplied and become more severe.  So far the symptoms have only gotten worse day by day.

I know many of you prayed for Molly and our family last year.  For a year she has been nearly symptom free.  Things have changed, and we don't know why.  And we don't know what this means for the future.  She could see her symptoms go away on their own.  We've been told that can happen.  We also know it isn't odd for someone like Molly to have multiple surgeries.  The doctor has asked for new MRI's to check her Chiari and CSF flow.  After he views those we should know more.  We aren't sure how fast we will get the prescription and hear from him.  I will keep you posted.  Please pray.

Here are my posts about Molly & Chiari from over the last year.

Molly & Chiari: One Year from Diagnosis

DSC_00112007-08-07A year ago yesterday I put up my first post about my wife Molly and her diagnosis of Chiari I MalformationA year ago today it was confirmed by her neurologist as her official diagnosis.  Her brain surgery went down on July 13th, as you may remember from this epic post, "Operation Chiari Freedom," describing that day and the hospital stay.  (Read all the old chiari posts.)

Many folks have asked for an update on Molly and here it is.  She is doing very well.  She is starting to eat with utensils again and is responding to my dog whistle.  LOL.  C'mon!  That's funny.  Actually she is nearly symptom free.  Her one remaining symptom is a jolting thing she does without warning.  I have explained it before, but it's essentially like a pee shiver (how descriptive of me), or that moment when you are falling asleep and jolt yourself awake.  The difference is it's slightly more pronounced and very random.  We have no idea what it is and haven't seen a marked increase in the symptom, so we aren't too worried.  But we watch it.

Over the last year Molly has had multiple opportunities to speak with other folks who are facing Chiari surgery.  Some have emailed, some have called.  My blog is like the 16 hit on Google for "chiari surgery" and can be found other ways, and often is.  As my posts tapered off so have some of those who are emailing, but they still contact us here and there.  It's a neat ministry for her.

A year later our main feeling is a deep thankfulness to God for his goodness and mercy.  They have pursued us.  As we have more to say about Molly & Chiari, I will let you know.  Until that time we thank all of my readers and those who have been praying for Molly and our family.  It's good to be facing this summer with renewed joy and fewer doctor appointments. :)

Just Another Chiari Update

Dsc_004020070830Just wanted to quickly update you on what life looks like several weeks after Molly's surgery. 

The three biggest problems right now are...

1. Molly can't lift much of anything.  Still under 5 lbs right now.  That's to keep from ripping her neck muscles apart.  Once we were out to eat and she was stranded at the counter with a tray full of food and drinks that was too heavy.  The kids and I were like, "Where's Mom?"  I went looking and found m'lady looking in need of rescue.  Fortunately I have muscles to spare!
2. You know how you will go to bed and just start to drift off to sleep and then jolt yourself awake?  Molly still has a little of that.  That's really the only remaining symptom, and it's so insignificant we usually don't even talk about it.
3. Molly is just dying to start working out more, but can't do much yet.  She is walking on the treadmill and that's about it. 

Yeah, after an awful summer and long post-surgery recovery life is pretty much back to normal.  We took a train trip into Chicago yesterday with the kids and she did great.  We don't assume there will never be any Chiari related stuff in our lives again.  We know that symptoms could come back someday.  That keeps us on our toes and thankful for the time that things are great, like now. 

By the way, the best question we get asked is, "So, what did you guys do this summer?"  Love that, because we will unload the story on people and enjoy their disbelief.  It's quite the conversation starter.  It also stops conversations.  Like when someone is whining about their silly problems and I drop the Chiari-bomb all over them.  They suddenly have nothing to say about their lives. :)

I have a short list of things I'd like to reflect on now that we have some distance from the symptoms and surgery.  I'll try to get them written sometime soon.  And the next appointment with the surgeon is in mid-October. 

It's All Good (Post-Surgery Appt)

Dsc_001120070726Great news today.  Despite another awful drive to the U of Chicago (rain, accidents, ugh), Dr. Frim and his colleagues thought things were great and that Molly's few remaining issues were normal. 

Actually, the only issue that really concerned us was lightheadedness when Molly stands up.  Dr. Frim told us that lightheadedness is not only not a bad thing, it's actually a good thing.  Now that the brain/brain stem area is decompressed her CSF (cerebrospinal fluid) just falls out of her head, so to speak, making her lightheaded.  To have this problem at times post-surgery means the area is sufficiently decompressed.  And eventually her body will compensate and this issue should go away.  Awesome.

So, yeah, really good news.  We are very, very thankful to God for his many blessings in recovery, but also for the peace we have had throughout these two scary months. 

Things are going so well we are beginning to plan a train trip into Chicago with the kids in a couple of weeks (or so), a trip to see my family soon, and more.  Trust me, Molly is still taking it slow.  It's still months before she can lift anything of any weight at all and she is being extra cautious.  But things like walking, driving, and doing most other normal life activities are based on how she feels.  And she feels great.

Thanks yet again for praying for my wife, for me and for our kids.

Post-Surgery Appointment

We are headed out (with our kiddos) at 7am for a 9:40am appointment with Molly's surgeon, Dr. Frim, at the University of Chicago.  We expect to hear only good things and have a handful of questions for him.  On our way home we will, Lord-willing (and we're sure He is!), stop at P.F. Changs for the greatest Chinese food on the planet. 

Thought this would be a good time to put up our favorite "get well" card.  Love this...

Image1_2

Molly, Music and Misc Links

I tried to put this up yesterday, but I've had no shortage of computer issues.  A Molly update and links on the way...

Dsc_000520070722 Molly Update

She had brain surgery 12 days ago and for the most part is feeling good and getting around fine.  The stuff she is dealing with right now are lightheadedness when she stands up, some neck pain, and some numbness on her scalp.  Her balance is doing wonderfully.  I was very surprised yesterday as she tested what she can and can't do.  She is experiencing no numbness in her limbs as she had before.  It seems the rest of her symptoms have either gone away or been depleted, but we are still taking our time to determine exactly what will happen with those. 

She felt well enough to go out to dinner with me last night to celebrate our 14 year anniversary.  Man, I love my wife.  This picture was taken yesterday.  Want to see what the incision area looks like?

Cheap, Good Music

Personally, I don't download much music.  I buy CD's.  But the temptation to download has just increased.  iTunes now has some great CD's at very low prices, which is a new thing.  At the iTunes store click on the "Next Big Thing" box and you will find some great CD's for $6.99 by Peter, Bjorn and John, Brandi Carlile, Hot Chip, and LCD Soundsystem.  Really great deals.

Links

Ed Stetzer is blogging.

I think Justin Taylor has written some great stuff on Genesis: Origins.

Michael Foster kindly links to all of Driscoll's Death by Ministry series.

Billy Graham preached "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" (Edwards) in 1949.  The Jonathan Edwards Center at Yale has provided analysis.

My wife and I have signed up for Stand: A Call for the Endurance of the Saints.  Here are some Desiring God pre-conference videos.

Molly on the Mend 7.18.07

We've been home for two days now and Molly is improving quite a bit.  She has been up and around all day today, rarely taking a rest, and often itching to get up and be with the family.  My brother and his family watched our kids for 6 days and brought them home yesterday.  Great to see them and hug their neck (sorry, spent some time in the south).  Mostly I'm just really encouraged today by Molly's progress.  She has still had some head/neck pain, but nothing unexpected.  I can take off the top dressing tomorrow and she can wash her hair for the first time in a week.  She is looking forward to that!

A few of Molly's church friends came over for a visit this afternoon.  She enjoyed the visit and let me leave the house for a bit to work. 

We have been very blessed as our church members have planned many dinners for us beginning tomorrow.  I think they have them planned for a couple of weeks.  Nice.  And how cool is this, someone out of the country sent us $100 to buy the kids something after they got home.  So many good things out of a bad situation.

I'll try to keep you all in the loop, and thanks for praying.