(This is the fruit of a conversation with a friend.)
Pat Robertson recently called for the assassination of Hugo Chavez. He's trying to play around it now, but whatever. He said it. And a lot of people silently agree while publicly speaking out against what he said. But I think there is a biblical way for Pat to save face, for Christians to get behind him (since we are all at our deepest core fascist Republicans anyway), and to get the job done without feeling guilty.
I just watched Super Size Me last night, and nearly vomited by the end of the DVD. Seriously, ask my wife. Thirty days of McDonald's nearly killed Morgan Spurlock who started the documentary in great shape. So Chavez, who is a little more pudgy, should drop after about three weeks of Quarter Pounders with cheese.
And the great thing is, Chavez can be assassinated without guilt. Romans 12:20-21 says, "But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, if he is thirsty give him a drink." There you go, biblical justification for assassination by McDonald's.
So Pat, send Hugo a month's worth of Extra Value Meals and your desires will be fulfilled, your biblical foundations will remain strong, and your detractors will be silenced. I rest my case.