Molly had her MRIs done on Friday at the University of Wisconsin Hospital. They went relatively quickly, but it was a long day. Saturday we mailed the CD of the imaging to Dr. Frim at the University of Chicago Hospital. Hoping to hear from him today or tomorrow. I'll update when we know something.
As best as we can remember, the last 10 days have been the worst stretch of the worst symptoms ever for Molly, including the weeks leading up to her previous surgeries. Mentally for her this has been really difficult. She almost never finishes a sentence or thought without significant pauses to gather her thoughts. About half the time she just gives up trying to say it.
She has very little balance. Extreme fatigue and weakness. She was so bad on Monday that when she got to work (part-time at local elementary school) a couple of friends in the school office saw how bad she was doing and had to drive her home. She's probably done driving unless things improve. She pretty much never walks anywhere unless she has something to help keep her balance. She's almost fallen a couple of times.
As a whole, life itself is very overwhelming for her. Just leaving the house and being around anything that isn't very familiar causes her great mental stress and leads to physical tension. Her whole body will tense up very tight and see has difficulty stopping it. It's an internal reaction to things she can't control.
With a couple of days off of work and staying home more, she's at least feeling a little less tension. The symptoms are still there, and she's very emotional. But we hope a rest might help.
I'll be honest. I feel very frustrated. It's tough looking at my beautiful wife and see so much pain and frustration and sadness in her eyes. It's tough seeing her struggle to say even a simple thought. It was painful last week to see her near meltdown in a grocery store. I had to spend several hours last week dealing with doctors & insurance & hospitals on the phone and email because the hospital required something unnecessary from our insurance company. It was a total mess. In the end we got it straightened out. And I'm sure it was a simple mistake. But it made my week miserable.
We can't help but wonder about these difficulties and what God is doing. The things we are working on most in our church are the things we are finding most complicated now with Molly's needs and struggles. Spending time with others, even those we know the best at Doxa, is great strain and increases her tension, quickly leading to exhaustion and other symptoms. The spiritual warfare aspect of this seems clear. It's changing the way I'm praying.
We continue to talk and pray together about the goodness of God, His ability to heal and our request that He would heal Molly, and His power made perfect in weakness and the possibility of the weakness remaining rather than being taken away.
If you would, say a prayer for Molly and our family.