Our kids have been taught to obey us the first time we say something, and they do pretty well. We get a lot of comments from friends and other parents about it, usually with some surprise at how obedient they are. They sometimes assume our kids just happen to have calmer personalities than theirs. That we just got lucky. Truth is, we've been blessed to be around parents who have parented well and taught us by example. You can parent better. You can and should ask your kids to obey the first time you say something.
One thing we've changed as our kids are getting a bit older is an "appeal." Now when we ask for their obedience, they are allowed to ask for an appeal, meaning they can make a request to delay obedience. It's working out really well. It keeps them from being frustrated when they have something they are trying to finish.
The call to dinner is a perfect example. Usually when the call comes from mom they come running. It's food, after all. But occasionally a kid will yell from the basement, "Mom, can I appeal?" And then they give a reason and mom will ok or not. If you don't do this, I recommend it. It helps kids who have growing responsibilities and who are maturing in wisdom to make arguments for how they can obey without hurting something else they are working on.
But it doesn't always work out. Last night mom called dinner and Sarah (13) said, "Mom, can I oppose?" Mom, said, "No, you may NOT oppose! But you may appeal." :)
Do you have any parenting tips to share for kids of similar age? Comment below.