Yes, I've returned from my day fishing. Could anyone have guessed that I would land a record breaking Northern Pike from Lake Geneva in Wisconsin? What an incredible experience!
I fought the great beast for 2 1/2 hours and finally landed him by jumping in the depths and wrestling him to the point of exhaustion. I then threw him into the boat and up to the dock where Jim Guinness (yes, the CEO of the world record organization) was on the shore waiting for me after a bizarre set of dreams and visions in the weeks prior to me landing the great fish.
Fortunately for me Jim gave me 30 minutes to recoup from the epic battle. That was a good thing because at that point hundreds of people had gathered around the shoreline to see the mammoth fish and hear me retell how I defeated him with unflinching courage and determination.
After my quick breather, I approached the large stage that had quickly been constructed for my moment of glory. I was still too exhausted to even walk, yet I still found the energy to sign autographs which included photographs of Jimmy Houston.
Several minutes later, with hands numbed from the fight and tingling with anticipation, I took the microphone and began my story. Through each gripping detail, more of the crowd broke into tears. Some tears of agony as they identified with my struggle. Others tears of joy at the possibility of such a feat! As even the most salty-mouthed fishermen began to speak my praises, I found myself unable to finish. It was all too much for me. Choked from my own emotions, I decided to lead the now massive crowd in a moment of silence for the soul of the world's largest Northern Pike. And then we fired up the fish fry.
Okay, so I'm lying. I caught nothing. But my buddy caught three, including this one.